HOW I LOST MY VIRGINITY 

I LOST MY VIRGINITY AT 15

It Really Changed Me
I physically lost my virginity when I was 15, but
mentally it was gone long before that. I started
to think about losing it when I was 13 or 14,
when I realized that for some reason I , as a girl ,
was expected to be prim and proper and virginal
and pure, but boys were allowed to be randy and
promiscuous and certainly not virgins. I
remember having one of those great WTF -
Moments at school one day, when I looked
around the class and thought to myself , ' so , if I
had been born a boy, like one of them , I could do
just about anything I wanted with a girl , but since
I' m a girl, I' m not supposed to want to enjoy
myself . ' I really had that thought ! A boy who is
active is a Romeo , a Casanova, a Lothario , ( OK,
I didn' t hear that one until I was older !), but a girl
was a . . . ****!
I had discovered the joys of ************ when I
was 13, and I was raised in an open enough
family that I knew there was nothing wrong with
pleasuring myself. I couldn ' t get it , this
disconnect, this idea that something that was
soooo pleasurable was somehow also soooo bad.
My daddy , to his credit , never preached chastity
or virginity to me . He did preach self- reliance,
self- respect , and the joys of education and
freedom. So while I came to understand early
that there was no way I was going to make it to
my marriage a virgin , neither was I going to get
pregnant as a teen either !
So there I was , 15 years old, with this intact
hymen that I really didn' t understand the purpose
of , ready to just get this the hell over with. But
somehow I also knew that there would be wine -
filled nights with girl -friends when the very topic
of virginity - loss would come up , ( so to speak ) ,
and I wanted to at least have a decent time with
it !
The answer to my problem was a 17 year old boy
I will call Jimmy . He was in my school and he
was pretty as hell. Normally I don 't use the term
pretty for boys , or if I do, it ' s disparaging, but
Jimmy was , well , pretty !
Jimmy had curly dark brown hair with blue eyes
and a crooked, self- deprecating smile. . . he
always smelled clean , with the hint of a
perfumed soap on him , and his clothes were
always pressed and he wore them well .
Best of all , he liked me ! That was important . . . if
I were to have sex with him I at least wanted to
like him ! ( I lost that inhibition a bit later, then,
fortunately , found it again . )
We dated for several months and kissed and
fondled each other , but technically we were still
virgins.
Then the day came when we were out of school
at around 2: 30 and his parents weren ' t due back
till late . This was the day I had planned for .
Several months before I had confided ( without
details !) my intention to my OB/GYN. She
prescribed birth control pills for me , at my
request . She gave me a talk about STDs and I
took her seriously, although I knew Jimmy was
clean of them , but her advice came in handy
later on in my life. I did tell my daddy I had pills ,
and said they were there to regulate my period.
It was a lie , my first grown -up lie to my daddy,
my first lie as a woman to a man . He accepted
my explanation, although I am not to this day at
all sure he believed me , but I am sure he was
happy I was using birth control . In any event , I
was ready for Jimmy.
We went to his house , to his room , to his bed .
We took each others clothes off . I got to see
the reaction of a straight male to a woman' s
body. . . I must say , I was impressed ! I knew in
theory all about the differences between men
and women and I had seen pictures of naked
men and erect penises . . . but not like this!
Wow! I did that to him ???!!!??? Just by being
naked in front of him ???? I felt the beautiful
feeling of naked skin on naked skin , felt my
vaginal juices flowing , felt his tongue on me . . .
and felt a man ' s *********** within me . . . Again ,
wow! ( But did not have an ****** myself. )
I felt a pain in me when he first slid in, but not a
bad one. There were a few smears of blood
when we looked, not much , and he carefully took
a cold , wet towel to them at my suggestion . I
wasn ' t sure that there would be much of an
intact hymen down there , since I had ridden
horses from the time I was a little girl , and I had
heard that activity like that would break the
membrane. . . so I was not very surprised that it
wasn ' t a big thing .
He held me after wards , and I put my arm around
him and he used his hand on me , a gentleman ,
and then, after I came , he brought his hand up to
my mouth for me to kiss. Every man I have ever
had sex with from that day on , whenever he has
put his hand between my legs , has brought his
fingers up for me to smell and kiss and lick . I
guess this is a technique taught in every man 's
locker room in the whole country .
After a nice period of cuddling and deep , serious ,
adult conversation, ( That was great ! Yeah , it
was . Totally fantastic, wow! Oh , hey, wow !) I got
Jimmy hard again - - the glories of teenage boys !
-- and this time I got on top of him and rode him
and felt my first ****** from intercourse, felt that
incredible moment of total loss of control . Felt
him come again inside of me just as I was
finishing , and then I collapsed on him.
Now THAT felt like it was something !
When I went to my own home that night I took a
shower and dressed in my usual Tee and jeans.
It was my daddy ' s turn to cook that night , but I
went into the kitchen to help him .
I felt different standing there , talking to him . For
the first time I was aware of my daddy, my
father, as an adult man . I don' t mean anything
incestuous here at all ! I just suddenly was
aware of his body , his scent , not just as my
daddy' s scent and body, but as a man ' s . I was
more aware of my own body and scent too ,
I was aware of my size compared to his , aware
of my large , round breasts, aware of the scent of
woman that I could now smell on myself .
Just a couple of years ago, in a totally different
conversation , in a totally different setting, he
mentioned to me that he noticed a growth in my
maturity when I was 15, that I started to really
carry myself more as a woman at that age, less
as a girl . So he noticed this change in me too ,
although he didn ' t say anything about that
particular day. But he too had noticed that I had
changed .
I didn' t tell him why .